Sangent

submitted by Sang on 04.25.2006 in Jokes

This is a list of what all the advertising terms on products really mean…

• NEW - Different color from previous design.

• ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

• EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

• UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

• FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

• ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn’t understand it.

• IT’S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

• FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

• HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

• FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

• REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

• DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

• YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

• BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

• MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

• MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

• SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.

• LESS FATTENING - Now doesn’t have the same fat content as pig stomach lining.

• HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

• NON-REFUNDABLE - We couldn’t make it work long enough to ship it.

• FAT FREE - You pay for the food, but the fat is free.

Related posts:

• New Male Beauty Product
• Retailers Fight ‘Cootie Effect’ On Shoppers
• Circuit City False Advertising and Customer Abuse
• The Real Hustle: Miracle Product Swindle
• Physics Disclaimers

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

   email