Hormone Hostage Field Guide

submitted by Sang on 03.7.2006 in Jokes

Every “Hormone Hostage” knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands.

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Where would you like to go for dinner?
SAFEST: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
ULTRA SAFE: Wow! Look at you!
SAFEST: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
ULTRA SAFE: Here’s fifty dollars.
SAFEST: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
ULTRA SAFE: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
SAFEST: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo today.
ULTRA SAFE: I’ve always loved you in that robe.
SAFEST: Here, have some chocolate.

DON’T let your wife or other female significant other find this or all answers convert to DANGEROUS.