Sangent

submitted by Sang on 03.1.2006 in Jokes

• There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
• If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
• A 4 years-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
• If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape

• It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room

• Baseballs make marks on ceilings

• You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on
• When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit
• A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

• The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan

• When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh;” it’s already too late

• Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it
• A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies
• A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day

• If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes

• A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep

• Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old
• Duplos will not
• Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence

• Super glue is forever

• McGyver can teach us many things we don’t want kids to know

• Ditto Tarzan
• No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water
• Pool filters do not like Jello

• VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do

• Garbage bags do not make good parachutes

• Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving
• You probably do not want to know what that odor is
• Always look in the oven before you turn it on

• Plastic toys do not like ovens

• The fire department in Seattle has at least a 5 minute response time

• The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy
• It will however make cats dizzy
• Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

• Quiet does not necessarily mean don’t worry

• A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect)

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• Kids Crashing Into Things
• How to Teach English in a Foreign Land
• Kids Make Me Laugh
• 100 things we didn’t know this time last year
• Black Hawk Parents

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