submitted by Sang on 02.27.2006 in Jokes/Lawyers
Q: What’s the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q: What’s the height of conceit?
A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q: What’s the definition of macho?
A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy
Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.
Q: Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the heck out of the dog.
Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A: You fill it with gas.
Q: What do the LAPD and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
A: Neither of them can stop a Bronco.
Q: Have you heard George Michael’s new song?
A: It’s called Zip Me Up Before You Go Go
Q: I walked in a bar the other day and ordered a double.
A: The bartender brings out a guy who looks just like me.
QWhat’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
QWhat is forty feet long and has eight teeth?
A: The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
QWhat’s the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.
QWhat’s the weather like in Tahoe?
A: Gloomy all over and Sonny around one tree.
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