Intimate Embarrassments 5

submitted by Sang on 02.24.2006 in Jokes

It’s supposed to be tender, romantic, intimate…But sometimes sex is just an embarrassing cock-up. These women were willing to cringe and tell all about their sexual blunders.

‘On our first holiday together, we went to Mauritius where we had booked a room in a lovely hotel. On our first night there, we had cocktails and then went for a romantic stroll along the beach. When we came back, we lay down on one of the chaise lounges next to the pool. It seemed deserted and we started getting really steamy. I kept looking around to check that there was absolutely no-one there - and there wasn’t. So we slipped out of our clothes and slid into the pool to see if it was possible to have sex under water. We were doing quite well with our experiment when suddenly, out of nowhere, a member of the hotel staff appeared and told us, very politely, that it was better to keep intimacy to our bedroom. The pool, he added, had an underwater window that made up one of the walls of the hotel’s disco, and we had been the floor show for all the guests who were dancing - until they had seen us. I was so humiliated that I made my boyfriend check us out of the hotel first thing the next morning, and I spent the rest of the holiday dreading the flight back in case anyone recognised us.’

-Elana, publisher, 32

Intimate Embarrassments I, II, III, IV, V, VI