submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006

A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, “Can you help me when you get home?”

“Sure,” he replies. “What’s the problem?”

“Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can’t even find the edge pieces.”

“Look on the box,” he said. “There’s always a picture of what the puzzle is.”

“It’s a big rooster,” she said.

The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, “Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box.”

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submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006

A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, “Mom I’ve got a problem.”

She says “Tell me.” He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn’t understand. She asks him what they are.

He says “well, pussy and bitch”.

She says “Oh That’s no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy.”

He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement.

He says to his dad, “Dad the boys at school are using words I don’t know, and I asked mom and I don’t think she told me the exact meaning.”

Dad says “Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she can’t handle them. What are the words?”

He tells him…pussy and bitch.

Dad says “OK” and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, “son, everything inside this circle, is pussy.”

“OK dad, so what’s a bitch?”

“Son” he says, “it’s everything outside that circle.”

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submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumblebee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina.

The woman started screaming “Oh my God, help me, there’s a bee in my vagina!”

The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said “Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit.”

The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife’s vagina.

The doctor said “OK, what I’m gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife’s vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife’s vagina.”

The husband nodded and gave his approval.

The young lady said “Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it.”

So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady’s vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, “I don’t think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper.”

So the doctor went deeper and deeper.

After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady’s breasts and started making loud noises.

The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, “Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you’re doing?”

The doctor, still concentrating, replied, “Change of plan. I’m gonna drown the bastard!”

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submitted by Sang on 01.30.2006

A blind man walks in to a department store with his guide dog on a harness. As usual the store manager behind the customer service counter looks up, notices the customer is blind, and not wanting to stare quickly looks away again.

Out of the corner of his eye the manager sees the blind man start swinging the dog over his head with its harness. Shocked, the manager runs over and says “Mister is there a problem - is there anything I can help you with?”

The blind man calmly replies “No thanks - I’m just looking around.”

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submitted by Sang on 01.30.2006

So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender “Give me two single whiskies”

“Sure” the bartender replies, “do you want them both now or one at a time?”

“Oh, both now” replies the guy, “one’s for me and one’s for my little friend here” and with that the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket.

The bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, “Can he drink?”

“Sure” replied the guy and with that the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey.

“That’s amazing” replied the bartender, “what else can he do? Can he walk?”

With that the guy flips a coin down to the other end of the counter and asks the little fella to get it.

Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy.

“That really is amazing” replied the bartender, “Can he talk?”

“Of course” says the guy, “Hey Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a bitch…”

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submitted by Sang on 01.30.2006

In the beginning God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.

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submitted by Sang on 01.30.2006

A man went for an audition at a local club. “You’ better not be a hypnotist, they’re not welcome here.”

“No I’m not, I’m a singer, why, what’s wrong with a hypnotist?”

“Well we had one a couple days ago with 10 people on stage in a trance when he tripped over the microphone wire and shouted ‘Shit’. We’ve been clearing up ever since.”

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submitted by Sang on 01.30.2006

A young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination. When he gets into the room, the man strips for his exam. He has a dick the size of a little kid’s little finger.

A nurse standing in the room sees his little dick and begins to laugh hysterically.

The young man gives her a stern look and say, “You shouldn’t laugh, it’s been swollen like that for two weeks now!”

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submitted by Sang on 01.30.2006

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.

Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.

While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.

“No thanks,” the girl says. “You know I don’t smoke.”

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