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Archive for January, 2006
submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006
Q: What is 69 and 69?
A: Dinner for four.
Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A: Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx….)
Q: But do you know what 6.9 is?
A: A good thing screwed up by a period.
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submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006
Microsoft founder Bill Gates, the world’s richest man, said the tax office in the US has to store his financial data on a special computer because his fortune is so vast.
“My tax return in the United States has to be kept on a special computer because their normal computers can’t deal with the numbers,” he said at a Microsoft conference held in Lisbon.
This guy just recently dropped about a third of a billion to charity. *faints*
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submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006
One evening, the rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for an apparent heart attack the gentleman had. When the squad got there is was too late and the man had died.
While consoling the wife one of the rescuers noticed that the bed was a mess. He asked the lady what symptoms the man had suffered and if anything had precipitated the heart attack.
The lady replied, “Well, we were in the bed making love and he started moaning, groaning, thrashing about the bed, panting, and sweating. I thought he was coming, but I guess he was going.”
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submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006
You might remember my post about Internet Explorer 7 a while back. This post is a review of Internet Explorer 7 Beta 2.
- New icon. The first thing I noticed after restarting my computer after installation is the new icon. Instead of the standard glossy e, Microsoft added a nice little halo around the e that’s similar to the Earthlink halo.
- Toolbars. IE7 B2 now has a much nicer user interface. I was very impressed with its GUI to say the least. The one thing that I don’t like is that the toolbars seem a bit clogged on the right side. It’d be better, in my opinion, if Microsoft killed the Google Toolbar, and killed the toolbar below the Google Toolbar. I mean, the second toolbar is kinda useless because it’s just the main menu with icons.
Screenshot (I can’t post it without screwing up the layout) - Navigation buttons. Another thing that I don’t think about the new Internet Explorer is that your standard navigation buttons (home, stop, refresh) are not in their usual order. In order to conserve space, Microsoft reduced the size of these icons and placed them in odd and not juxtaposition. Makes browsing a tad more inefficient, but whatever floats MS’s boat.
- First page. The URL you see in the screenshot above is the page that you will see first when you start IE7 B2.
- Exploring. I decided to explorer the web with Internet Explorer 7 by going to a very sexy site. The font rendering immediately caught my eye. I know my vision is not as great as it was a year ago, but the blurriness of the font can make anyone think they’re going blind. I believe this feature, called ClearType, is only for LCDs only. You can turn it of by going to Tools -> Internet Options -> Advanced -> uncheck Use ClearType. You have to restart your browser for the new setting to take affect.
- HTML. IE7 B2 most definitely changed its HTML rendering engine. In IE6, I remember that the mouseover on my navigation bar would produce a depressed button image like the one below, but IE7 does not support that anymore. Boo! The part that I wanted them to change is the hover over the side links. Notice how August is not the same color as the rest?
- Throbber (loading icon). The throbber, the loading icon (I didn’t know it was called that either), is also changed to look similar to Firefox. Check out the comparison screenshots below.
Internet Explorer 7 throbber
Firefox throbber - Addons. Firefox calls them plugins. Internet Explorer 7 calls them addons. Whatever the name, IE7 now has a feature to add on mini programs to help enhance your browsing experience. I have not downloaded any of them, but it looks promising considering that you have to pay for some of them!
Paying for addons
Overall, I think that Internet Explorer 7 has definitely improved in terms of design, user-friendliness, and browsing capabilities. So far, the only thing that I like about it is its new interface, but then again, Firefox is planning to boost its visuals, too. The rest has potential, but there’s still room for progress, especially its HTML rendering engine.
Wanna test out Internet Explorer 7 for yourself?
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submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006
A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.
They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3am and says, “Oh no, its so late, my wife’s going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?” She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. “Where the hell have you been?”
“Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”
“Oh yeah? Let me see Your hands!” She sees his hands are covered with powder and… “You damned liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!”
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submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006
No Thanks. … Just Sniffing.
I’ll be in the dressing room going blind.
Oh the size won’t matter. She’s inflatable.
No need to wrap it up. I’ll eat it here.
Will you model this for me?
Oh, honey, I’ll never fit into that.
$50?? Are you kidding? She’s just gonna end up NAKED anyway!
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submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006
Official Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 Beta 2 public release download.
read more | digg story
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submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006
A blonde’s car breaks down on the interstate one day, so she eases it over onto the shoulder. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
Out jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurs.
It’s not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the driver of the disabled vehicle yelling, “What the heck is going on here?”
“My car broke down,” explains the blonde. “Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?” screams the cop. “Those are my emergency flashers!” replied the blonde.
submitted by Sang on 01.31.2006
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.
One woman said, “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.”
The second woman giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.”
The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, “Say, what do you call your husband?”
She frowned and said, “The postman.”
“Why the postman?”
“Because he always delivers late, and half the time it’s in the wrong box.”
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