Top Drug-Using Cartoon Suspects

submitted by Sang on 12.20.2005 in Jokes

Gargamel (From the Smurfs)
- Most likely LSD.
- Spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys in sissy white outfits
- Mentally abuses his cat.
- What does he plan to do with the blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?
Olive Oyl
- Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines.
- Who is that skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she is always giving her burger to her friend.
Snagglepuss
- Can’t explain it. Maybe it’s the name, or the look, but he is suspicious.
He-Man
- This is an easy one. I mean c’mon. Roid monkey #1. “BY THE POWER OF ANABOL!!!!!!” Makes me want to root for Skeletor.
- Alone in his castle, hitting the weights.
- And on top of that he even injects the shit in his pet tiger. Can we say “Animal Abuse”?
Yogi and Boo Boo
- We all know what is really in those picnic baskets.
Droopy
- The number one downer abuser in toon land. The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe. Sort of makes you wonder.
Dopey Dwarf
- He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are afloat.
Daffy Duck
- If he isn’t using crack, Merion Barry is clean.
- He is so wired he bounces around on his head without pain.
- Blows his beak off all the time.
- Some symptoms might be from “daffiness” but Haldol wouldn’t work for him.
Shaggy
- By far the #1 suspect.
- His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee
- converses with dogs
- Munchie Factor: Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats consumed per episode does pot. No if, ands, or, buts about it.
- Look at the way him and his friends painted that van! Pretty rad design dude.