submitted by Sang on 12.19.2005 in Jokes/Computers
Post a message asking how to post messages.
Lead a tireless crusade for the creation of newsgroups with silly names like alt.my.butt.is.hairy.
Put 4 addresses, 5 lines of Geek Code, 6 ASCII-art bicycles, a PGP key, and your home phone in your signature.
Reinvigorate a discussion by switching attributions in follow-ups.
Post recipes on rec.pets.cats.
Post a compendium of old articles from a thread that died months ago with a title such as *** HAS JOE SMITH FORGOTTEN HIS LIES? ***
Post a 56-part binary MPG file of your dog throwing up to news.answers. Announce that you screwed it up and repeat.
On the MST3K groups, ask what happened to Joel.
Ask readers of rec.music.misc to post their favorite Zeppelin tune for a poll.
Reacquaint the readers of rec.humor with the two-strings-go-in-a-bar joke.
Determine a perversion so bizarre or obscure that it doesn’t yet have its own sex group.
Post your new War Heroes of India FAQ to soc.culture.pakistan.
Start this week’s new AOL virus rumor.
Format your posts for 90 columns (or 20).
Provide a valuable public service by notifying the eager readers of roughly 1,200 newsgroups of your new HOOTERAMA phone sex service or PorqWhiffe pheramone cologne.
Post elaborate conspiracy theories to talk.politics.misc detailing how ATF agents under the control of Chelsea Clinton and Socks have implanted invisible microchips in your genitals.
Fill that empty mailbox, make new friends, delight your postmaster, and selflessly lead others to riches with a few MAKE MONEY FAST posts.
Attempt to sell your sweaty underwear in alt.clothing.lingerie.
Follow up a 200-line post to add only your signature.
Crosspost Amiga articles to the Mac and PC newsgroups for a valuable interchange of provocative ideas.
Announce a mailing list for Bill Gates’ VISA card number.
Inform the readers of alt.sex that your friend at a particular address is taking a penis length survey, and the first 1000 people to send him their measurements will receive free naked pictures of Cindy Crawford.
Correct every spelling mistake you encounter, but misspell the word imbecile in your follow-up flames.
Flame yourself, and complain to your own postmaster.
Ask readers of the Star Trek groups when they last had dates.
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