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Archive for November, 2005
submitted by Sang on 11.30.2005
“Your heartbeat accelerates, you have butterflies in the stomach, you feel euphoric and a bit silly. It’s all part of falling passionately in love—and scientists now tell us the feeling won’t last more than a year.
The powerful emotions that bowl over new lovers are triggered by a molecule known as nerve growth factor (NGF), according to Pavia University researchers.
The Italian scientists found far higher levels of NGF in the blood of 58 people who had recently fallen madly in love than in that of a group of singles and people in long-term relationships.”
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submitted by Sang on 11.30.2005
Say you’re in an elevator in a high-rise office building, and the car begins to free-fall from the 65th floor. What do you do?
Flatten your body against the car floor.
While there is disagreement among the experts, most recommend this method. This should distribute the force of impact, rather than concentrate it on one area of your body. (Standing would be difficult anyway.) Lie in the center of the car.
Wanna read more about what to do when an elevator falls?
Wanna read more about what to do when you’re on a runaway camel and other worst case scenarios?
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submitted by Sang on 11.30.2005
snlildude87 (10:54:30 PM): grassy ass
***u***** (10:54:37 PM): day nodder.
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submitted by Sang on 11.30.2005
An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.
Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.
“Correct,” said the chief. “How did you figure it out?”
The warrior answered, “It’s elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”
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submitted by Sang on 11.30.2005
Several scientists were all posed the following question: “What is 2 * 2 ?”
The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it’s old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces “3.99″.
The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces “it lies between 3.98 and 4.02″.
The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: “I don’t know what the answer is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!”.
Philosopher smiles: “But what do you mean by 2 * 2 ?”
Logician replies: “Please define 2 * 2 more precisely.”
The sociologist: “I don’t know, but is was nice talking about it”.
Behavioral Ecologist: “A polygamous mating system”.
Medical Student : “4″
All others looking astonished : “How did you know?”
Medical Student : “I memorized it.”
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submitted by Sang on 11.30.2005
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it, and have all the time they need.
The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume.
The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures.
And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.
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submitted by Sang on 11.30.2005
City of Los Angeles
High School Math Proficiency Exam
Name:____________________ Gang:________________________
Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?
If Jose has two ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn’t cut it?
Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?
Jarome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?
Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4×4. If he has stolen 2 BMW’s and 3 4×4’s, how many Chevy’s will he have to steal to make $800?
Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will he have left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing her since she spent his money?
If the average spray paint can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?
Hector knocked up six girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?
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submitted by Sang on 11.30.2005
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?”
The player thought for a moment and then he answered, “4?”
“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, “Come on coach, give him another chance!”
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submitted by Sang on 11.30.2005
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
“Sorry I can’t serve you,” states the barman.
“Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
“You’re under 18,” replies the barman.
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