submitted by Sang on 10.31.2005

WARNING: Not for the virgin eyes

*****D*** (7:20:51 PM): [17:24] ****l*****: what does it mean when “the operation has timed out” comes up when i type in a website
*****D*** (7:21:03 PM): [18:20] *****D***: it means the server is fucked up
snlildude87 (7:23:14 PM): haha
snlildude87 (7:23:19 PM): did she get your response?
snlildude87 (7:23:26 PM): “get” => “understand”
*****D*** (7:28:03 PM): she wasnt there
snlildude87 (7:29:09 PM): she’s probably whoring herself for some sweets
snlildude87 (7:29:15 PM): which she’ll give me later
*****D*** (7:29:24 PM): meh
*****D*** (7:29:30 PM): wron
*****D*** (7:29:36 PM): wrong*
snlildude87 (7:29:57 PM): how?
*****D*** (7:30:19 PM): that is just … wrong
snlildude87 (7:30:26 PM): it’s true
snlildude87 (7:30:32 PM): did you see her skirt?
*****D*** (7:30:49 PM): OH! i have email!
*****D*** (7:31:32 PM): meh nvm it was spam
snlildude87 (7:31:44 PM): haha, wtf
snlildude87 (7:31:50 PM): i thought it was from the slut
*****D*** (7:32:50 PM): nope
*****D*** (7:32:57 PM): just spam
snlildude87 (7:33:08 PM): enlarge your size by 20%?

Posted in AIM Convos   email  2 comments »

submitted by Sang on 10.31.2005

It’s been a while since my last AIM convo post, so here’s another one coming at you.

********R (12:41:32 AM): http://img485.imageshack.us/my.php?image=eye3te.jpg
snlildude87 (12:42:22 AM): dude, that’s impressive
********R (12:42:28 AM): thnx
********R (12:42:36 AM): i luv the dude inside the eye
********R (12:42:41 AM): it might be a chick

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submitted by Sang on 10.31.2005

ETA: 1.5 weeks

I added some finishing touches to the new layout today, and I submitted it to browsershots.org so that I can see how it looks on other platforms. If all is well, then I’ll change the HTML code of the entire site which should take a couple of hours, so that will mostly happen on the weekends.

Here is a screenshot of the new layout (click to enlarge):

I used a whole lot of CSS. Basically, it’ll be very flexible, so future updates will be so much easier.

I know you like it.

+snguyen

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submitted by Sang on 10.31.2005

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog… “Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!” Now think about how you call a cat…”Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!” Jeeezus, you’re fit to be framed, you’re so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably gay.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man’s world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a “Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim” and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you’ve had NutraSweet iour mouth, you’ve had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn’t have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a “fressier” is you’re gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are most certainly gay.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his little soldier in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to gays when they flame out too quickly.

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submitted by Sang on 10.31.2005

This is pretty neat how it works out.

This is cool chocolate math!

DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute…

Work this out as you read.

Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out!

This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. (try for more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)

3. Add 5. (for Sunday)

4. Multiply it by 50 I’ll wait while you get the calculator…

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755… If you haven’t, add 1754.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are… YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it IS!!!)

I’ll work out a mathematical representation of this later…after my brain returns to normal.

Posted in Jokes   email  6 comments »

submitted by Sang on 10.31.2005

Here’s a virtual pumpkin carving “game”. All the thrills and none of the spills!

Link: http://nerdnirvana.org/g4m3s/swf/pumpkincarving.swf

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submitted by Sang on 10.30.2005

Ascaryus (Jan 20-Feb 18): This Halloween looks to be a scary one for you. But before you go around crying, “Ooooh, I want my mummy! I want my mummy!” think about this: You want more lovin’, right? Well, if you run around like a scaredycat, you will, to quoth the raven, “Neverscore.”

Pieces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Vampires are evil, hypnotic people who will emerge in the night and drain you. Sounds like someone I used to date. You need to be careful because you may have closed the metaphoric coffin lid on a relationship, only to find that this person will rise from the graveyard of your heart to worm their way back into your life. One word of advice from “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”: A vampire can only come in if you invite them.

Scaries (Mar 21-Apr 19): You’ve got to pick up every stitch this Halloween because, unless I miss my guess, it must be the Season of the Witch. If only every holiday could be commemorated with a bad Donovan song. Wouldn’t it be great, on Thanksgiving, to sit around the table, giving thanks for the bounty we are to receive by singing a rousing round of “Mellow Yellow”? That is truly the most horrifying thought you can be faced with this Halloween.

Tarot (Apr 20-May 20): Sure, you ladies have been looking for some lovin’. But you don’t want to go for just any Tom Dick and Harry. And heaven forfend you go for any Jack you find, especially when that Jack is some hollow-headed grinning gap-toothed idiot. But then again, despite his weird exterior, if you look inside, you’ll see a flame burning bright. This might be the season of the witch, but if you try not to act so witchy and look past the odd exterior, you’ll find hidden depths in the ugliest places.

OnlyOneEye (May 21- Jun 20): Horror is in the eye of the beholder, whether that eye be bloodshot and yellow, peering at you from the shadows of the night, or whether the eye is a horrible dismembered giant radioactive eye. What is truly scary? A werewolf? A werewolf is not so much a horrible half-man half-beast as a chronic undershaver. A headless horseman is just the victim of a particularly bad hair day. In much the same way, you can find the brighter side of anything that comes your way, no matter how horrific or annoying.

Dancer (Jun 21-Jul 22): Scary is relative, and we don’t just mean your crazy relatives who threaten to come visit for six weeks, but rather the idea that whereas a movie with monsters made out of cardboard boxes and paper mache may have been the scariest thing you’d ever seen when you were eight, it now looks like crap. You must get over your initial fears of a new project or relationship; although it seems insurmountable now, if you stick with it, you will eventually be able to overcome it.

Tao (Jul 23-Aug 22): Frankenstein’s monster was, of course, made out of the parts of a couple dozen other people, which must have been hell when it came to custody hearings. Nothing’s more awkward at a family reunion than having one-tenth of Cousin Harry show up at the buffet. You, too, feel like you’re being pulled in twenty different directions, but you’ll soon receive the jolt you’ll need to get on your feet again.

Vertigo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Pity the poor skeleton who wanders around on Halloween, looking so unfashionable in all-white a full two months after Memorial Day. Of course, he can’t help it, and he is actually successful in the love department; after all, he is “ribbed” for her pleasure. This week you’ll find that you attract more flies with honey than even dead zombie flesh, and being inherently nice to the opposite sex will make them flock to you like vultures to a skeleton.

Webra (Sep 23-Oct 22): Zombies are pretty well-known for trying to suck the brains out of people’s heads. As was every high school algebra teacher I ever had. Coincidence? Considering that those people were always pale on the point of being green, had trouble communicating more than moans and incoherent screams, and had awkward, stumbling walks down the hallway, I think it’s lucky I escaped without some horrible “Night of the Living Dead scenario.” You escape a horrific fate worse than death , if you can steer clear of boring people at parties.

Scareio (Oct 23-Nov 21): You think you’re being slick, but the truth is that you’re like a ghost; people can see through you, and all the noise you’re making is more effective scaring small children and dogs than actually doing anything. It’s time to leave your old haunts and take care of that grave matter that’s all your vault.

Sekeltarious (Nov 22-Dec 21): Boo! Scared ya!

Capricandycorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): You’re in the zone this week! The Twilight Zone, that is, and it’s going to be a creepy thrill ride with an incredibly ironic twist at the end that serves as a commentary on our mixed-up Cold War nuclear society. Don’t let the creepy situations you get yourself into this week get you skittish. Let them get you Skittles; why not go Trick-or-Treating? It’s fun to dress up, get given stuff, and not have to give ten percent to a big guy named Huggy Bear. And Halloween candy doesn’t count as calories!

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submitted by Sang on 10.30.2005

10) You’re guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9) If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7) You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.

6) It’s OK when the person you’re with fantasizes you’re someone else, because you ARE someone else.

5) 40 years from now, you’ll still enjoy candy.

4) If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door.

3) It doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2) Less guilt the next morning.

And the Number 1 Reason Trick-Or-Treating is Better Than Sex…

1) You can “do” the whole neighborhood!!!

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submitted by Sang on 10.30.2005

College Sex Advice has an article on the meaning of various costumes. For example, if you want to dress as a pimp, you might be masking your insecurity because you want people to look at you as a player with wealth, power, and command over women, when in fact you are weak, ineffectual, or simply shy. If you want to go as a Catholic school girl, you’re probably an innocent goody-two-shoes, but you have a hidden naughty side.

Read more.

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