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Archive for September, 2005
submitted by Sang on 09.30.2005
According to News.com, Esquire writer AJ Jacobs put a badly written and error ridden article on Wikipedia and let the Wikipedian community have at it. Within days, the article had received hundreds of edits, was cleaned up, proof read and fact checked. If it worked for Jacobs, shouldnâ??t it work for you?
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submitted by Sang on 09.30.2005
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.
Patron: No, it’s still there.
Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I’m running late now.
[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet.
Patron: Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything.
[The waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There’s a gnat in my soup!
The check: Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50 Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00
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submitted by Sang on 09.30.2005
Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe; as it happens, in Transylvania.
They’re driving a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It’s late, and raining very hard. Bob can barely see 10 feet in front of the car.
Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her head bleeding.
Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone.
Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks.
A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, “Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife, Betty. We’ve been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone??”
“I’m sorry,” replies the hunchback, “but we don’t have a phone. My master is a doctor. Come in and I will get him.”
Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. “I’m afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor. I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory.”
With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries; so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.
After a brief examination, Igor’s master looks worried. “Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion.”
Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.
The Hills’ deaths upsets Igor’s master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his pipe organ. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.
Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. As the music fills the lab, his eyes catch movement. He notices the fingers on Betty Hill’s hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob’s arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up!
Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: “Master, Master!…The Hills are alive with the sound of music!”
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submitted by Sang on 09.30.2005
On September 29, 2005, Sangent went offline for a couple of hours. The reason for this is that it was using too much resources. Since it’s hosted on a free server, the resource is limited, so the server admin had no choice but to terminated it. It’s sort of like sacraficing my site for other people’s. Anyway, this made me realize that I can no longer do what I do on a free server. This means that I have to play with the big boys now and get a domain name and paid hosting. I did that.
THE NEW DOMAIN NAME FOR SANGENT WILL BE http://nerdnirvana.org/. Please update your bookmarks because http://sang.trap17.com/ will NOT be updated anymore. All updates (new games and jokes) will be on http://nerdnirvana.org/.
UPDATE 1: When I get everything settled in, I will inform you guys, but for now, hang tight. Keep coming here like good boys and girls, and if it goes down, try again in a couple of minutes (or hours). It’ll be that way for a couple of days until I can set up everything on http://nerdnirvana.org/.
Post your comments and concerns below. Or don’t. Whatever.
UPDATE 2: http://sang.trap17.com/ will officially not be used for Sangent anymore. Instead, go to NerdNirvana from now on. All updates will be here from now on. For real. The crash on October 6th made me realize how unstable my other host was. Oh, and please spread the word. I need to get my visitors back.
Posted in Life, Site News email 52 comments »
submitted by Sang on 09.27.2005
- A few clowns short of a circus
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal
- An experiement in artifical stupidity
- A few beers short of a six-pack
- Dumber than a box of hair
- A few peas short of a casserole
- Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box
- The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead
- One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl
- One taco short of a combo plate
- A few feathers short of a whole duck
- All foam, no beer
- The cheese slid off the cracker
- Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel
- Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt
- Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
- Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
- He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
- An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
- As smart as bait
- Chimney’s clogged
- Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash
- Doesn’t know much but leads the league in nostril hair
- Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor
- Forgot to pay his brain bill
- Her sewing machine’s out of thread
- His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels
- His belt doesn’t go through all the loops
- If he had another brain it would be lonely
- Missing a few buttons on his remote control
- No grain in the silo
- Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
- Receiver is off the hook
- Several nuts short of a full pouch
- Skylight leaks a little
- Slinky’s kinked
- Surfing in Nebraska
- Too much yardage between the goal posts
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submitted by Sang on 09.27.2005
Kids say the darnest things…or in this case, write the darnest things. Check out some of these letters written by kids to God (you can click to enlarge).
Wanna see more letters? Click.
+snguyen
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submitted by Sang on 09.26.2005
- How long did the Hundred Years War last?
- Which country makes Panama hats?
- From which animal do we get catgut?
- In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
- What is a camel’s hair brush made of?
- The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
- What was King George VI’s first name?
- What color is a purple finch?
- Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
- How long did the Thirty Years War last?
PAGE DOWN TO FIND THE ANSWERS. NO CHEATING!
Answers:
- 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
- Ecuador.
- From sheep and horses.
- November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
- Squirrel fir.
- The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
- Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
- Distinctively crimson.
- New Zealand.
- Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.
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submitted by Sang on 09.25.2005
This riddle MUST be done in your head and NOT using pen and paper.
- Take 1000.
- And add 40 to it.
- Now add another 1000.
- Now add another 30.
- Another 1000.
- Now add 20.
- Now add another 1000.
- Now add 10.
- What is the total?
Now Scroll Down ….
// \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \
Did you get 5000? Seems most people do. The answer actually is …
// \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \ // \
- Don’t believe it? Try it with your calculator.
Don’t you feel like an idiot? Well… This has been done by MANY. The result always being the same…
Posted in Jokes email 6 comments »
submitted by Sang on 09.25.2005
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES.
He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says:
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 5 MILES
He realizes that these signs are for real. Then he drives past a third sign saying:
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF MERCY
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, “What may we do for you, my son?”
He answers, “I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business.”
“Very well, my son. Please follow me.”
He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man, “Please knock on this door.” He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup. This nun instructs, “Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway.”
He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun’s cup.
He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.
As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:
GO IN PEACE, YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF MERCY.
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