Sangent

submitted by Sang on 08.16.2005 in Jokes

Dear ________________,

[ ] It’s been fun, but I want to see other people.
[ ] You suck in bed.
[ ] I want to explore new things and meet new people.
[ ] I’ve seen Professional Wrestlers more sensitive than you.
[ ] You’re a loser.
[ ] You’re too sensitive, stop whining already.
[ ] I have to break up with you because I slept with your best friend / dog / sister / neighbor.
[ ] It’s not you, it’s me. I’m a double agent and have to rescue the President.
[ ] I’m actually not straight / gay, fooled you!
[ ] We can’t have sex because I keep thinking about your mother/father/best friend / cow / next door neighbor.
[ ] Your stubborn refusal to not flush the toilet / shave / masturbate / kick helpless animals is just too much.
[ ] I’m prejudiced against _________, so this isn’t going to work.
[ ] You were so awful I’m joining a seminary / practicing celibacy forever.
[ ] I now hate men / women because of you.
[ ] You told my parents we do it like monkeys and they won’t let me see you now.
[ ] You’re fucking cheap, I don’t want much, but c’mon!
[ ] I have to leave, I pissed off the mob / government / terrorists / rap musicians.
[ ] You’re leaving to college / the military / prison, I don’t feel like waiting.
[ ] I’ve been indicted for War Crimes.
[ ] He / She is much better looking than you.
[ ] This sleazy guy /girl convinced me you’re a waste of my time and I’m going to hook up with them.
[ ] I’ve seen fourth graders smarter than your friends, at least the fourth graders can color in the lines and spell college correctly.
[ ] You are from New Jersey. ’nuff said.
[ ] I love my cat / dog / sex slave more and you’re allergic to them.
[ ] I was blind when we started dating but now that my sight is back, eeeeewwww.
[ ] I’m shallow and want a guy / girl with lots of money.
[ ] I would rather make out with an electrical socket.
[ ] You’re standing in the way of my dream job: Professional Polar Bear Kick Boxing champion.

Sincerely,

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