Sangent

submitted by Sang on 07.26.2005 in Jokes

For those that apply, please fill out the form below, and return it immediately to your local state representative, congressman, grocer, or recently fired postal worker ….

Dear:

[ ] Clueless Newbie
[ ] Lamer
[ ] AOLer
[ ] Me-too-er
[ ] Pervert
[ ] Geek
[ ] Spammer
[ ] Nerd
[ ] Elvis
[ ] Fed
[ ] Freak
[ ] Scientologist
[ ] Socialist
[ ] Bible-thumper
[ ] Anonymous Coward

You Are Being Flamed Because:

[ ] You posted a “test” in a newsgroup other than alt.test
[ ] You posted warez in pieces LESS than 5000 lines
[ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You started an off-topic thread
[ ] You posted a “YOU ALL SUCK” message
[ ] You said “me too” to something
[ ] You suck
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks
[ ] You made up slang then used it in a message
[ ] I don’t like your tone of voice
[ ] I think you might be a fed
[ ] You posted to more than four newsgroups
[ ] You were imposing your religious beliefs on others
[ ] You posted something really stupid/depraved
[ ] You tried to blame others for your stupidity
[ ] you incorrectly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual superiority
[ ] you are posting an anonymous attack

To Repent, You Must:

[ ] Be the PR person for George Michaels
[ ] Give up your AOL account
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Be Senator Exon’s love slave
[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
[ ] Post your tests to alt.test
[ ] Print your home phone number in your adverts
[ ] Slam your fingers in a desk drawer repeatedly
[ ] Become a Satanist, sell your kids to Michael Jackson

In Closing, I’d Like to Say:

[ ] Bite me
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Never post again
[ ] I pity your dog
[ ] Yer momma’s so fat/stupid/ugly that etc…
[ ] Take your crap somewhere else
[ ] Learn to post or sod off
[ ] Do us all a favor and crawl into some industrial machinery
[ ] See how far your tongue will fit into the electric outlet
[ ] All of the above

Related posts:

• Interesting Game
• Contact Sang
• Love Letter Generator
• Letter arrives 56 years late
• Challenge: Nine Letter Word Manipulation

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