Bush Dies after 1-Man Invasion

submitted by Sang on 07.6.2005 in Links

Bush Haha, relax. That’s not for another 13 years and 11 months. Here’s how he died:

Bush � George W. (72), the 43rd president of the United States, was struck down �in action� early yesterday morning from injuries sustained during a failed one-man invasion of Mexico. Reports say that Bush, on horseback, made it as far as Corpus Christi, Texas, before his horse collapsed on the highway from exhaustion. The ex-president was then struck head on by a fruit truck, which, ironically, was filled with Mexicans. George W. Bush, known as a president with uncompromising principles, took a strong stance on the war against terror. He also served as the 46th governor of Texas, a fighter pilot, an oil tycoon, and a partial owner of the Texas Rangers. But most of all he will be remembered as the goofy dumb-ass who invented words like �bilatarelations.� He is survived by his wife, Laura, and twin daughters, Jenna and Barbara. He will also be sorely missed by his brother Jeb Bush, former governor of Florida and owner of Brother Jeb�s Used Autos, who was the last person to talk to the ex-president. �I saw him about an hour before he left and he said, �I know they�re hiding something…they�re all hiding something. I see them at the gas station!�� The younger Bush brother recalled, �He then said, �Freedom is on the march! And I�m about to march straight down south and kick some sneaky-looking brown people ass!� I mean, I thought he was kidding . . .� But it turns out the former president was not kidding at all, and Florida had been added to a list of potential targets scratched into his flight helmet. The list also included Iran, North Korea, New Mexico, Chinatown and the Cleveland Indians. All flags across the country have been set at half-staf[f]

This all happened on June 5, 2019.

Here’s more famous future deaths: http://www.jestmag.com/3-6/obits.html